Kissing Jessica Stein

I found this to be a really powerful movie because unlike most movies centered around a gay or lesbian couple, this movie didn’t concentrate on the issue of coming out to family and friends so much as the inner struggle Jessica has over taking a big risk. Jessica doesn’t seem to feel the full weight of her relationship with Helen until she comes out to Joan, her friend at the newspaper, and almost immediately becomes hysterical over what she’s doing and the decisions she’s made. It’s almost as though she regrets it from that moment but decides to continue through it. from there, we watch her try to cover it up to her family and friends at work, lying here and there to dissuade them from figuring it out. By the end, her mother has picked up on it and she tells Josh outwardly about it. This is when she fully accepts that there’s been a change in what she’s looking for. I guess you could say that the theme of the movie was not about the gay community. It’s about experimenting to find the strength to decide on what you want out of life and who you want to share life with, no matter that person’s gender. And even a step further, that our friends and our significant others may overlap but if they’re worth keeping around, they can be both or choose one, but just because a relationship ends doesn’t mean a friendship has to too. Jessica manages to keep Josh as a friend after telling him about Helen and Jessica and Helen manage to maintain a close friendship even after their breakup and Helen finding a new girlfriend.

I loved that they portrayed the lesbian relationship going through things a straight couple would go through. There was the introduction to friends and family, people asking questions and speculating a lot. There’s the taking a date to a wedding, which in some families is a really big deal. They even tackle the issue of a couple with two different religious backgrounds and show how accepting Helen is of Jessica’s religion. They portrayed the fights in such a real way that you felt like you had an active investment in the argument. It was so relatable, even if you’d never been in a lesbian relationship. Their fights could have just as easily been between a straight couple. I even loved the ending, which is rare. I expected the breakup but I didn’t expect them to stay friends even after Helen got a new girlfriend.

Jessica actually reminded me a lot of a friend from high school. She’s picky but gets into things fast, not necessarily taking the right route to what she wants because she doesn’t really know what she wants. She’s jumpy and finicky and particular about things. She needs to know what happens next before she starts, she can’t just doing anything and see where it leads. She’s very planned and meticulous instead of spontaneous. In that way, she reminds me of myself. 

So basically, what I got out of this movie is that lesbian/gay couples juggle the same issues as a straight couple after the coming out process is over. There was a cultural aspect I liked about how easy it is to be accepted by society as a bisexual person now as opposed to a few decades ago. This movie made it look so easy to just be like “yup, I’m gonna try this out” and show the spontaneous side of just trying on a new hat, experimenting with who we are without the fear of letting go of who we were. Jessica eventually goes back to her old self but there are very clear aspects of things she’s brought back from her relationship with Helen. She lets her hair down without straightening it and wears clothes that are professional while artistic and he comes out of her artistic bubble and lets people see what’s going on in her life through her art.