Before Sunset

Before Sunset was very interesting because of its contrast to Before Sunrise. The overall feel of the movie is quite similar but conveys a change in both characters through the subject matter they discuss while demonstrating their lack of change through the activities they do together and the secrets they share with one another. They are the same people they were nine years ago but with more experiences to connect to.

Early in the movie, Celine discusses her friend who made a mistake with a lover by making a suggestion of how to please her which offended him by indicating she was dissatisfied with his performance. Jesse says it’s about the timing and that she waited too long into the relationship to make changes in their love life. Changes must come earlier in the relationship.  I’d argue that the problem was caused by the approach and that she should have prefaced it with a compliment and then given him further instructions. The context and the way we communicate can often say more than the words we use. It’s a common error but one that is completely avoidable if the woman this happened to had given it some thought before springing her displeasure on her lover. Clearly, Jesse would have fallen into the same problem.

I was really surprised by the way Jesse treated Celine when he saw her at first. He treated her as though they were both still single. When I saw the wedding ring while they were in the café, I thought the editors didn’t realize what finger it was on. I feel like most people would be less flirty with someone they slept with 9 years ago if they were now in a committed relationship. That gives the wrong impression and then you dump on them that not only are you married but you also have a 4 year old and it’s like all hope is lost on their end, even if they too are in a relationship.

I enjoyed how Celine compared switching lovers to switching brands of cereal for some people. The concept of forgetting or replacing someone came across very clearly from Celine’s explanation of why she doesn’t get involved with people casually. You can’t replace people because they’re made up of so many specific details, she says. She never gets over people and each one hurts so bad to move on from that it’s worth being highly selective. Even with all of her considerations before starting a new relationship, Celine has not found happiness with her current lover and prefers he be away from her for extended periods. Perhaps being alone with a long distance lover is not the answer to solving her issues. Maybe it’s an issue over knowing herself, deciding what she wants out of life, not just a career. It’s truly heartbreaking that she feels so left out in the cold while each of her ex’s finds a wife. The acting in the scene in the car was incredible and appeared exactly as the viewer would expect it to look in real life. 

If you think about what they did at the end of Before Sunrise, it’s actually quite strange. They put faith in one another to show up to a specific time in a specific place on a very specific date without any means of communication to confirm the destination or make other arrangements. They put faith into each other like they were putting faith into God. He put faith into her and was let down and then found her using his own devices, which, I have to say, is pretty clever. 

I felt really bad for him during their conversation on the boat. He was thinking in hypotheticals if her grandmother had died a few days earlier or later than December 16^th but put into that situation, I would have told myself it was fate. We weren’t meant to be together. This was the universe stopping something that shouldn’t have happened. 

You can tell he doesn’t love his life. He talks about it in this tired sort of way. The first things out of his mouth are that his wife is a great teacher and a great mother but that doesn’t say anything about the way he feels about her. I feel like if he really loved her, he would have started off saying she’s a great lover and supportive partner. No one was ever made for you or will match you perfectly. Jesse says it’s a matter of committing yourself to a life with that person, not arguing that they are perfect or that you are soul mates. He says he’s had sex 10 times in the last four years. Where’s the love in that relationship? To me, that’s justification to not get married. Why should I sit around waiting for our love to die and unhappiness to creep back into my life? Why not spend a few years with this one and a few years with that one and wait until I hit mid-forties to settle down, when I really know myself, and then commit to being with that one person for the remainder of my life? It’s not traditional, I know. But I wouldn’t want to conform to a tradition of marriage that will undoubtedly lead me to displeasure in all aspects of my home life.

As weird as it was, I loved the ending of this movie. It’s so whimsical. She’s dancing and he’s captivated by her like it’s the first time he’s ever seen her. He loves her and I’m glad he chose to miss his flight. I hope he never catches the next one.